Reflections

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I walked into my building this morning and saw a huge US flag carefully hung on the wall. A reminder of the 9/11 attacks that happened ten years ago Sunday. Has it been 10 years already?

I still get emotional thinking about what took place that day, the many lives taken and the many others forever changed. We all changed in some way that day I believe.

Putting aside any politics and theoretical explanations as to who, why and how this tragedy occurred, I just wanted to reflect and express what is. Innocent lives were taken that day and hardened many hearts.

I remember where I was and what I was doing that day. I remember being in my bathroom getting ready for work and having the radio on as I normally do, turned low so it served more as background noise than anything. So even though the volume was low I detected a mood and emotion from the dj. I turned up the volume and didn’t understand what he was talking about but it was enough for me to turn on the tv. I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing. I froze trying to comprehend. I’m sure I thought as many others, what just happened and how does this happen in the US? Who would do this?

*Bubble burst*

The air was heavy. Even though it was just me moving about my apartment, I could still feel the heaviness; the cloud following me as I tried to understand.

I went on as usual – finished getting ready for work, listened to the news, got on the bus. The bus was particularly quiet. The heaviness was here too – there was no escaping it apparently. It was real.

A woman on the bus listening to the news through her headphones announced in a quiet tone that one of the towers just fell. I wondered again: what was happening????

At work, I couldn’t concentrate. I was listening and watching the news. Then the second tower fell. Horror had struck and I felt vulnerable. I didn’t want to be in my office building downtown on the 17th floor. I was suddenly very scared. My boyfriend (now hubby) called me to see if I was alright. More heaviness. He came and picked me up.

We went back to my apartment and stayed glued to the tv. I cried. This day was the day that truly told me I was an adult and would be dealing with adult things. I wanted to be little again or continue living in my bubble where all was well.

I remember talking to a someone at the time -- maybe a few days later – who was put off by all the coverage of the attacks. Like they didn’t understand why this had to continue to dominate everything. Uh…I don’t know, maybe because this is a significant event that’s never happened before that we just witnessed? Yeesh. It was a lot to process though and everyone deals with things differently.

Now it’s 10 years later. Talk about in a blink of an eye. I wish we could live in simpler, happier times where everyone just got along.

Sorry this really isn't about me but it did have an impact and no doubt it did on you too wherever you are in the world. My blog is normally one that’s light and fun and happy but today I want to express my gratitude for the many who sacrificed themselves 10 years ago (and those who have and/or continue to do so today). To them, you are amazing and my heart aches for those who lost loved ones.
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